The Last Days (Part 3): “A Portent of Stormy Weather”
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My last post quoted now deceased, former President of the LDS Church, Gordon B. Hinckley’s sermon from October 1998, in which he warned, “There is a portent of stormy weather ahead, to which we had better give heed.” Reading the context of this talk, around this statement, it is clear to me that he was referring to financial distress. Our current economy and the global financial meltdown is certainly a basis for what drove his remarks.
So my wife and I have a financial goal to live within our means. Part of accomplishing this means avoiding consumer debt and paying down existing debts, such as student loans, mortgage and auto loans. We have a monthly budget and do our best to meticulously stick to it.
We follow two counter-intuitive (from a secular perspective) teachings that help us achieve financial independence and prosperity. 1-) We are single income family, and 2-) we pay tithing to our church.
1-) Being a single income family in a dual income world can be hard. It seems that our entire economy and our social existence is designed to speed the flow of money through our family coffers. EVERYTHING costs money. I made a joke to my wife the other day, “Even going to the bathroom costs money! You flush down 2.2 gallons of water that you pay for.” My wife is a very talented person who would be a very successful professional if she were working. She holds a graduate degree and at one point in time was pursuing a career as a college professor. Then came marriage and kids. We believe that as long as we are able, the most important work she can do is within the walls of our own home. “No worldly success can compensate for a failure in the home.”
2-) We pay 10% of our annual income to the church as tithing. The benefit of this simple act of obedience is best understood by those who practice it. Our Lord has invited us to test his integrity: Pay it and watch the blessings roll into your life like thunder. Or as He puts it, “I will … open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.” Mal. 3: 10
Nevertheless, despite our best efforts, we continually find ourselves staring at a credit card balance of a couple thousand dollars. When a bonus, a tax return or some other good fortune comes along we will pay it down and start over, vowing not to let it happen again. But it ALWAYS does. Why? What are we doing wrong?
The biggest culprit for our family has been travel. Airfare specifically. For the majority of our marriage we have repeatedly visited family in other states for holidays and summer vacations. But that isn’t all. Recently, with all children requiring their own seat, we can’t afford to fly our whole family around any more. So lately, it seems that our 35-year old house has been the harbinger of debt doom. We got ice dams last winder that caused some seepage and water stains on our ceilings. Our fireplace insert requires that we get the chimney swept each summer. We have another item of roof work to do: reseal the chimney. Our master shower had cracked tile grout, which allowed water to get behind into the wall, rotting it out.
Few of these things seem like luxuries. Our house must be maintained. Our vacations were for a good cause, to visit and be with our extended families during the holidays and at family reunions. These are important memories to have and are good for our children.
Let me tell you the story of just last weekend. Our computer died and needed a new hard drive. $400. Our Sam’s Club membership expired. $50. The battery in our van died. $90. Our house was down to one cordless phone (the other three having been destroyed or lost by our children) so I bought a new one with five handsets. $100. Because of our computer problem, I had to buy an external hard drive big enough to back up our data, our priceless photos and countless personal documents, church talks and music files. $100. We want to go camping with our children so we got online and made campsite reservations at several state parks throughout the summer. $250.
Six weeks ago, we wanted to plant a family garden. So I went to Home Depot. This is where my wife gets nervous. $200 later I return triumphantly with garden hose nozzle, a garden weasel tool, six 50-pound bags of garden soil, some metal stakes and rabbit fencing.
The list could go on and on. One problem is that we don’t budget for any of that stuff. Our budget contains the “bills,” our obligations that we must pay each month. There are some allotments for family activities but not much. The remainder of the budget is supposed to go to savings, so that we can build up a financial reserve. Our goal is to have enough to set aside for a six-month period of unemployment. The problem is that things happen. LIFE HAPPENS. Life costs. Big time. So we always find ourselves drawing back some of that monthly savings allotment to cover LIFE-type expenses.
Just last General Conference, an excellent talk was given by Elder Robert D. Hales, entitled “Becoming Provident Providers Temporally and Spiritually.” The following statement typifies the attitude and good intentions that my wife and I have concerning family finances:
“To provide providently, we must practice the principles of provident living: joyfully living within our means, being content with what we have, avoiding excessive debt, and diligently saving and preparing for rainy-day emergencies. When we live providently, we can provide for ourselves and our families and also follow the Savior’s example to serve and bless others.”
But somehow, that isn’t enough because we are still stuck in this little cycle of roller coaster credit card use for things we think are needs, but are really very high priority wants, such as visiting family or having a convenient way to answer the phone, or recreational family time with our kids. Maybe one of the keys is increasing our diligence in the area of really noble wants.
“….additional debt is incurred when we cannot control our wants [even wants that if you could afford, would be entirely justified and righteous] and addictive impulses. And for both debt and addiction, the hopeful solution is the same—we must turn to the Lord and follow His commandments. We must want more than anything else to change our lives so that we can break the cycle of debt and our uncontrolled wants.” (my insertion italicized)
Strong language but it is still applicable to my situation. Here is the crux of the problem: I must better manage those wants that I consider very important, even righteous desires. Dumb example here, but applicable: I can’t go spend half my income on donations to the church if it causes me to default on my mortgage. Righteous desire, terrible execution. So I guess right now I have a bit of an execution problem.
Elder Hales continues:
“How then do we avoid and overcome the patterns of debt and addiction to temporal, worldly things [even when they seem congruent with gospel principles such as 'wholesome family recreation and efficient family life]? (my insertion italicized) “May I share with you two lessons in provident living that can help each of us.” [Somehow I don't think this is going to be an easy answer.....]
1- Say “We can’t afford it.” For me it will mean saying that OFTEN.
2- Say “We don’t need it.” But, how can you not NEED to visit your family or fix your computer? Tough choices are the essence of mortality! (evil snicker)
“These two lessons are the essence of provident living. When faced with the choice to buy, consume, or engage in worldly things and activities, we all need to learn to say to one another, ‘We can’t afford it, even though we want it!’ or ‘We can afford it, but we don’t need it—and we really don’t even want it!’ “
Well, I have not solved my own problem but I’m on the right path here, I think. Rather than introduce additional change and formality into our monthly budgeting process, I am going to surrender my lone credit card to my wife. If a purchase need to be made with a credit card I will have her do it. She will happily take on that burden and we will be better off for it.
If you have any kind of challenges similar to the ones I’ve described, please share. I wish you good luck and godspeed in finding a solution that works for you. To the extent that personality or psychological quirks compel you to spend, I know the Atonement of Jesus Christ is ready to stand in and offer a defense against those tendencies and desires. Tell God you need help and be ready to obey. As we make effort to follow and implement counsel from our prophets and apostles, such as this given by Elder Hales, I know we will be successful.
Here is one new rule I think is worthy of implementation at my house: Each time we pull out that credit card to do any online transaction, FIRST we will execute a payment of the same amount, from our bank to our credit card issuer, in another browser window. Then we can complete the deal and know that it has truly been PAID FOR. This allows us to enjoy the convenience of a credit card but not the trap of unpaid charges piling up until they take us by surprise.
